The light did not come naturally to me, but it did have its way of finding me, through wicca. The light represents to me in a way order, control discipline, it can you to control those abilities you were born with. Through meditation, consulting with spirit guides, as well as with the divine, you can bring the light into yourself no matter the level of inner darkness. It may seem difficult at first to allow this energy into the dark space that is your spirit but once you have learned to balance the light within yourself, you find yourself in better control of your natural darkness, and in better control of your dark wereside.
The darkness was born with me, and still consumes me from time to time. These times are not my best, I find myself lashing out in hurtful ways, sinking under the spell of depression, and so many other things I regret. We must try to understand that this darkness isn't in any way evil, perhaps destructive, defiantly dangerous. It is the nature of the draconcat within me, but not the only nature I have, draconcats have more to them than just darkness and destruction, but it is the hardest trait to control. With this darkness comes a pull to use my power in a harmful way. This is a good reason to have a religion of light, to have the retribution of karma for my acts. I have slipped into the darkness before I learned of any of my abilities, now at this point in my studies to slip back in would be harmful to myself as well as anyone I am in contact with.
Balance would be the key to living with the dark and the light that you have allowed into yourself. Its a never ending process but well worth the benefits, having both elements at arms reach. I do feel self defense by using the darkness, and protection by using the light, are some of the best perks of this practice
10 Steps to Balance
The first step to balancing, is alway acceptance. Foremost accepting what you are, embrace the darkness inside you. This doesn't mean give into these dark desires, at least not all of them. Remember your not possessed, not even demonkin are possessed you just have a natural darkness that must be maintained
Second, try to understand this darkness. Is it just the nature of your kind? or did something happen in the past that drove you to the darkness. Reach into yourself and ask these questions.
Third, meditation, this allows you to reach into yourself further, study past life events, meet with spirit guides of your kind, who can help you. Meditation will also help you get rid of some of that built up negative energy (Personally I use to pulse with energy to the point where I felt as if I was going to explode.) If you need help with meditation please e-mail me.
Fourth is astral projection, to actually leave the body in astral form, the form of your true self. This is a big event, but it takes time to master. In the astral realm you are free to hunt prowl, let the darkside unleash and act as you is drawn to act. Doing this in the astral realm will help keep you from doing it in the physical world. You can also interact better with spirit guides in the astral realm.
Fifth, many may disagree with this but I find it better to balance if you follow a light based religion, path, practice, or craft. This doesn't mean dedicate your life to the light, simply keep the light in your heart. You are dark by nature this is true and very important. but causing harm has consiquences, try to keep that in mind.
Sixth, find an activity that apeases your dark nature. Could be to study a subject, a craft, a form of martial arts, a form of magik, even visiting a place were your darkness is welcome. This will help you direct your darkness in a productive way.
Seventh, its always easier to deal with this issue when others are around with the same or similar problems. If its in the real world, astral realm, or even on the internet its always better to have someone around whose been there.
Eighth, this is almost the hardest thing of all, tolerance. People will annoy you, doubt you and just push your buttons. Deal with it, I know how iritating it is to be judged by humans, they arent superior, but neither are we. Balance it talk about it with friends or your spirit guide, take it out on a punching bag, dont go ripping peoples heads off just cause they pissed you off.
Ninth, Keep a journal of your progress, write down anything you feel at all, write about memories from the past lives you've had, write down dreams, write down your feelings on issues that have come forth. Your head can only hold so much, why let everything fly out the window of your mind, save it keep it to remind yourself of what you've went through at this time in your life.
Tenth, Stop and take a deep breath, you've acheived a balance, but that doesn't mean stop all the progress you've made, far from it. Balance is something that must be maintained once its acheived, keep working, it will only get easier.
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