I was born July 14 1983, one of a set of twins. Ive lived in the same area of Missouri for my entire life.
When I was quite young I became very interested in the darkness, I loved being scared, watching scary movies was one of my favorite things of all, I liked them all anything with ghost, monsters, zombies, and vampires... but my favorite were the werewolves and there kin. I also had a great fondness for animals, I watched the Discovery Channel quite often, collected those animal cards that come in the mail. My favorite animals were always the big cats, sometimes I would find myself pretending to be a cat, creeping through the house on all fours, stalking imaginary prey.
As I grew up a little I found my self striving to fit in with the other kids in school and in my neighborhood, things didn't work out. I was different, I acted different, thought different and I never quite understood why. I sometimes felt like I had more in common with the animals of the neighborhood than the people who lived there. I would cry when my next door neighbors would shoot at the stray cat that had torn through their garbage can. I felt very much like an outcast, but it became me and I accepted that I was different.
Then a miracle happened, it was the internet, I could now search the millions of web sites out there, looking for others like me. During the day I would visit, animals sites expanding my knowledge of all the species my young mind could hold, as well as visiting sites with scary stories, about monsters, ghost, and the like. At night after everyone in the house was asleep, I would search for others. I couldn't let my family know how I felt, nor could I tell the few friends I had managed to keep around, they wouldn't understand they were all normal people, they could never understand.
After a lot of looking I found something, therianthropy, the concept that people can have within them the spirit of an animal, I also found information on otherkin, people with the spirits of unworldly creatures such as elves, fairies, and even dragons.
This news was amazing to me, I had never really considered it. It took me a few more years, and alot more websites to finally admit to myself that this was infact what I was experience.
Still things didn't pop right into place as my awakening began. Though these people, shifters and otherkin, accepted me much more than normal people ever did, still there was the darkness inside of me.
At first I thought all shifters probably felt this darkness, but as I talked about it, no one seemed to understand, was I alone again?
The darkness was without a doubt part of me, it had always been there tempting me to give in to it. This dark side of myself would cause me to lash out when I truly didn't want to, pull me to do things that I normally would never do.
This is when I found Wicca, which I did very seriously, not just as a religion but as a way of life. It taught me much, helped me to control the darkness as best I could, through meditation, energy working, and mental discipline, I keep myself under strict control.
About a year ago, I began having past life dreams, and more recently visions while I am awake. These were very important in guiding my path in this life, and I may elaborate on their contents on another page.
Still I felt alone, I had met my fiancee by this point and we are very much in love, she tries to understand what this is like for me, but to find others who are going through this to, and try to help them, as well as help myself, is the goal of this website.
In the time I have had this website I've met people and kin of all types. I have honed in on who and what I am that much more. I have taken another step in figuring out what this all means. I have changed my path from Wicca, to Celtic Paganism... Found much symbolism in my visions, as well as truth. Encouraged my own natural abilities. Most importantly though I have found a place in life, found the balance that I sought for so long. I thank all those who have encouraged me along the way in every aspect of my being.
Take a moment to sign the guest book,
just to let me know what you think
Contact me at, OliverNightCat@hotmail.com